Sticky Buns

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I shat my pants today, but just a little. It was enough to feel though... it felt sorta wet and sticky, but not enough to run down my leg or anything. Ok, I'll admit it: this happens a lot. It always has, and I don't know why. I've tried to change my diet, I've even quit drinking beer, but for some reason, I'm cursed with wet and sticky farts. In my younger days, I'd run to the nearest bathroom to clean myself up. As the years progressed, I had to learn to ignore it, but I couldn't. It's a weird thing to feel a light coating of shit on your ass. It doesn't smell or anything, there's not enough of it, lucky me. And, I never leave skid marks, it's always just a very light coating. I don't know how many times I've had to hit the bathroom to wipe my ass before having sex with a woman. Too many times, really. Today, I'm ok with it because I'm single. And, since this is an anonymous venue, I can admit that I now actually like the way it feels. In my head, I have given this thing a name, I call it "sticky buns" and I'm sure you can figure out why. I am a clean person, I guess I just have this weird thing where I like to feel the stickiness my wet farts leave on my ass cheeks. I'm not Hitler or anything... I mean, I was kind of forced to like it, since there's not much I can do to prevent it. I should start a club or something, for I know I can't be alone in this.

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