Former Drummer, Current Dog Owner



On our block you're known as "the guy who used to be in The _____". Pick whatever middling early-2000s indie band you like and fill in the blanks. Ain't that flattering how we remember you?

Well mostly these days we're fed up with you because you're a shitty dog owner. Neighbors have knocked on your door countless times. Random passerby have been kind enough to return your animal to your house. But guess what? It's 8am on a Sunday and your puppy is roaming the neighborhood once again.

Not cool, asshole.

This is a city, not a bucolic countryside. Drivers cut through our street at 40mph all day long. Your new dog will soon be dead.

You have a yard and a fence, from what I can see. Are you doing this on purpose? Just opening your front door and kicking the dog out? Man, are you ever a prick. Get your shit together. You're likely forty years old. Grow the fuck up and take care of your new dog.

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