Keep Your Pubes at Home

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You left your pube covered bar of soap on the ground in the shower at the gym today, and I didn’t see it until I realized I had pretty much rinsed all your pubic hairs on to my feet. I’ve been pretty good at not placing myself in puke-in-mouth situations until today. All I could disgustingly think about and question after I propelled my rocketing body out of the shower in front of complete strangers you fucker, is WHO THE FUCK SHAVES THEIR PUBES AT THE FUCKING GYM?

Don’t do that! You’re a fucking women!

We do not shave in public places: Rule #1!
We do not shave our pubic area in public places, which has hair growth long enough to French braid your labia’s together: Rule mother fucking number 2!
And if you do really gross decide to shave at the gym, take your mother fucking Sasquatch soap with you: Rule #3!

There was so much hair on your soap, the front desk staff who came to get it bets that you're a virgin, and I don't want to take that bet.

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