Imagine the squeals of delight from your friends and withering glances of hatred
from your enemies when you are crowned the next "Mrs. Portland Mercury."
Want to enter?
See if you qualify:
• Contestant can be a woman, man, both, or neither!
• Contestant can be single or married, with or without children, pregnant or barren as the Mojave Desert!
• Contestant must be at least 21 years of age (unless you have a passable fake I.D.)!
• Contestant must be a citizen of the United States (unless you aren't)!
• Contestant cannot have been convicted of any "icky" felony (regular felonies are okay)!
• Contestant must reside in Portland or surrounding area and have lived here for at least the past six months (unless you just moved to town--then it's okay)!
The "Mrs. Portland Mercury" Beauty Pageant welcomes women and men of all sizes, shapes, and facial structure--as long as you think you're hot, we want you!
Contestants will compete in the following events:
INTERVIEW • SWIMSUIT • TALENT
CREATIVE COSTUME (contestant's choice!)
FORMAL EVENING GOWN
AND, YES! "Mrs. Portland Mercury" and the runners-up will win CASH AND FABULOUS PRIZES!
WANT TO ENTER? YES, YOU DO!
Send your NAME, ADDRESS, AND DAYTIME PHONE NUMBER, along with an ACTUAL FLATTERING PHOTOGRAPH OF YOURSELF, a description of the TALENT you will be performing, and a short (200 words or less) ESSAY on why you want to be "Mrs. Portland Mercury" to the following address:
"Mrs. Portland Mercury"
c/o Portland Mercury
1524 NW 23rd Ave. Suite 2
Portland, OR 97210
Entries must be received by Tuesday, April 30. We will choose ten finalists from all the entrants, and these contestants will compete in early June in the funnest Beauty Pageant ever produced! (Stay tuned for details!)
So Don't Delay--Enter Today!
THE "MRS. PORTLAND MERCURY• BEAUTY PAGEANT
"Finally! A Beauty Pageant Anyone Can Win!"