HURRAH! Actor Benicio Del Toro has won another award for his outstanding portrayal of Javier Rodriguez in Traffic... but--what's this?--no one can understand his acceptance speech! Can you help a grateful Academy and Hollywood community by unscrambling his words? (Answer below.)
"I desesm pu ducintroing hte lifm, os onw mI' nggoi ot teg ighastrt ot het opint. Nad I tawn ot khant... si't ttwrein rereh, eth ytpde ersivno... I tlef ti ta mohe... Michael Douglas, d'i liek ot antkh Michael Douglas. D'i kile ot hantk teh hwoel tscas fo itsh icptuer [applause] cebaeus m'i noly sa doog sa tehes yugs."
Benicio Del Toro Wants YOU to "Match My Movie!"
"What can I say? I do so many movies. I get confused. Match my movie on the left with my character on the right. Yes...do that."
2. Big Top Pee-Wee
3. The Usual Suspects
4. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
5. Swimming with Sharks
6. Miami Vice
a. Franky Four Fingers
b. Crack Dealer
c. Rex the Receptionist
d. Dr. Gonzo
e. Duke the Dog-Faced Boy
f. Fred Fenster
Another Benicio "HO-HO!"
Question: How do you make a pooltable laugh?
Answer: Put your hands down its pockets and tickle its balls. Hah! That's a good one.
Excerpt from a Talk Magazine Interview
You grew up Catholic. Do you go to church?
BDT: I believe in God.
What do you like about them?
BDT: They have a baby for a god.
The Teletubbies do?
BDT: Yeah, up in the sky.
The sun baby.
BDT: I thought it was God.
Is that how you envision God?
You're smiling, so you think it's all good.
BDT: I think it's all in the Teletubbies.
Which is your favorite Teletubby?
BDT: The one with the purse.
Count the Del Toros!
Hidden within the print issue are a LOT of pictures of our favorite actor in the world, Benicio Del Toro. Can you find them all? If so, count them up and send the total number email@example.com by Thursday, April 12. The winner will be chosen at random from all correct entries, and will receive $25 cash, a box of light bulbs, and an "autographed picture"* of Benicio Del Toro. So go now and pick yourself up our print version of the paper and start counting the Del Toros!
* "Autographed picture" may not actually be autographed by Benicio Del Toro. It may not also be autographed, and it may not be a picture. But it will be something.
Answer to "Mumble-Mumble" Word Jumble: "I messed up introducing the film, so now I'm going to get straight to the point. And I want to thank...it's written here, the typed version...I left it at home...Michael Douglas, I'd like to thank Michael Douglas. I'd like to thank the whole cast of this picture [applause] because I'm only as good as these guys."
Answers to "Match My Movie!": Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas=Dr. Gonzo, The Usual Suspects=Fred Fenster, Big Top Pee-Wee=Duke the Dog-Faced Boy, Snatch=Franky Four Fingers, Swimming with Sharks=Rex the Receptionist, Miami Vice=Crack Dealer