Consider the Alternative

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I know the hipster subject is well-worn ground. There's not much left to say on the matter, but I think I've got a tiny light to shed.
See, I'm from a kind of Oregon that is nearly unrecognizable to the average Multnomahnian. (Yep, made that shit up.) One where the most vexing and frequently encountered personae are something like actual hill people (think Winter's Bone). I don't mean to paint with too broad a stroke and say all of rural Oregon is rife with vicious rednecks, just as I wouldn't say every establishment in Portland is overrun with effete, waifish boys in day-glo wayfarers who think their electro-folk outfit is the most important thing since internal combustion. But those groups are present in roughly the same proportions in their respective locales. And rednecks, real rednecks, are some mean motherfuckers. They are full-on fist-fighing, cat-calling, beat-ya-up-and-drive-away-drunk-on-a-rutted-logging-road sumbitches
Trust me, please, if I gotta choose between getting a little stink eye from some dude in a stripy tank top, and having my jokes fall flat on an icy and aloof beauty wearing some weird nomad shit, or taking an axe-handle to the grill in a diner parking lot, I'm going with the former every time. Every place has it's pains in the ass, we should be glad ours are harmless.

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