Dear President Dildo

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21 comments

When you meet an attractive, financially independent, well rounded girl with no kids in her 30's, who basically has it 'altogether' and is only looking to meet Mr. Right, please do the next girl the favor of being honest, WITH EVERYTHING as to not let her fall for your lines and the both of end you up in a bad movie-type relationship.

Seriously, by age 45, this was a crime far worse than speeding through SE in a pimped up Escalade, sportin a Rolex.

And upon that next first date, rather than try & grace over your career making dildos for a living, please be upfront and just tell a girl that you work in the sex industry. I would not have met you for that first date, fearing the probability that flag could lead to the nefarious things that ended up coming to fruition, only after becoming emotionally entangled with you.

I will thank you for introducing the dildos. After the last few years with you and now being free to reflect, I realize this was the only thing you had the ability to give me. And I don't have to cater to a piece of plastic.

Sincerely,
Better Off Without You

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