Fast & Furious 6 Will Undoubtedly Be the Greatest Motion Picture of This or Any Universe



There were a lot of ads for movies during the Super Bowl. And fine, I'm looking forward to Iron Man 3. I'm warily intrigued by World War Z and Oblivion, and I'll probably end up seeing Sam Raimi's Wizard of Oz thing against my better judgement, and—much to the palpable discomfort of everyone who has to share physical space with me—I'm practically literally tumescent about Star Trek Into Darkness. But you know what movie leaves all of those in the fucking dust? Motherfucking Fast & Furious 6, motherfuckers. If Sunday's all-too-brief look at what's sure to be one of the finest films of all time frustrated you as much as it did me, behold: Here's a whole three minutes and 22 seconds of immaculately edited and scored Fast & Furious 6 hype, highlighting how former bitter enemies Vin Diesel and The Rock are about to TEAM UP to DRIVE SOME CARS and SAVE THE WORLD. Last night I was telling some people in the Mercury offices about how awesome F&F6 is going to be and one of them rolled his eyes and was all, "What, are there planes in this one?" FUCK YES THERE ARE PLANES YOU FUCKING IDIOT, WHY ARE YOU WASTING MY TIME, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR EYES. And there are also trucks getting clotheslined and Gina Carano and beautiful ladies in short skirts dancing in slow motion and Vin Diesel growling "Ride or die" and important lessons about teamwork and family. Are you ready to live life in the fast lane? Because I am. There is no doubt about it.

Thanks to Mike Russell for making today worth living.

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