Good Morning, News!

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GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I was sixteen, he was twenty-one. Rode with us to Memphis, and papa woulda shot him if he knew what he'd done. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Following last year's tragic attack in Benghazi, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton vows to beef up security for our diplomats.

Meanwhile Sen. John McCain rips Clinton a new one, claiming she has not done enough in providing information or protecting our diplomats, however he did thank her for her service to our country. ????!!!???

The GOP launches into a three-day retreat to plan their future—which is to say, how they're planning on wrecking the future of everyone else.

As American troops pull out of Afghanistan, our generals are insisting that the Afghans take over the fight—which they aren't very happy about.

In "gun nut news": Three are wounded in a shooting incident on a Texas campus, because, you know, teachers and students need to be armed!

Football player Manti Te'o gives an interview to Katie Couric admitting that he "briefly lied" about the existence of his imaginary dead girlfriend, because you would do the same thing in his situation. Okay, that's a stretch.

Facebook potentially ruins another career after a teacher posts a joke picture of her students with tape over their mouths. Naturally, the world panics.

CONFIRMED: Beyonce did so too lip synch the "Star Spangled Banner" at Obama's inauguration. Again, the world panics.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Cloudy with sunbreaks today and tomorrow, but scattered showers are on their way!

And finally, here's the ultimate compilation video of every single time that Jessie Pinkman from Breaking Bad says the word "bitch"... BITCH!!

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