I Can't Help It



My commute to work takes me along many of Portland's bike routes, and thank you lord for that. As I'm driving along, coffee in hand and NPR catching me up on current events, I see it: Bike Booty. Oh fuck me, I'm helpless when I see 'em.

You know what it is. Bike butt. Bicycle booty. Cycle asses. Tight rain paints, ass muscles flexing to pump that Schwinn up the hill. Good damn, girl. I don't even care if she's middle aged, trying to bike off a few pounds or a nice tight-butted PSU student, these bike butts get me going like a motherfucker.

The confession here is this: I'm going to rear end a fucking car because of this fetish someday, I just know it. Until then, ladies, keep doing what you're doing!

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