I Got Out of Bed Just to Write This

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Fart whenever you have too damn it! Fart when you wake up. Fart when you drink your morning coffee. Rip em on the way to work with the radio stupid fucking loud. Walk fart really fast past Carl the IT guys cubicle. Fuck it, Fart the tones to chopstick taking the stairs for alone farting time, I don’t fucking care when you fart. As long as it’s not after you fall asleep in bed with me. You have all day pretty much by yourself, to excuse yourself, and yet you hold them until you get home, 4 hours later in bed with me, and rip something so catastrophic, you made the dog get up and leave.?

This is why I do it, when I shower with you!! This is the reason.

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