I Was Crying. You Tried to be Nice.

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First off: I'm sorry. You were trying to be nice, and I said, "Don't worry about it." The thing is, when you asked if everything was all right, what was I supposed to say? "No. Nothing is all right. I have HIV and I'm getting old and I'm terrified that no one will ever love me and I'm so alone that most days I wish I could just not wake up and if the sun exploded it would be a step in the right direction." Nobody wants to hear that. But I wish I would have at least said, "I'm having a bad night, but thank you for caring."

I was having a really bad night. Thank you so much for caring.

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