Stay Off eBay, Grumpy Geriatrics

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You read my description of my new boots for sale. You looked at the six pictures. You bought them. And THEN you act shocked when they didn't look like your imaginary idea of how brand-new boots should look?! Here's the deal. NEW STUFF TODAY LOOKS VINTAGE. You know how you laugh that kids these days pay for jeans with holes in them? Same goes for shoes. So the gently scuffed toes on my $250 boots are NOT from me tromping around in some muddy pig sty, cackling while I try to deceive you and steal your Midwest old-person money. THAT IS HOW THEY CAME. Now I have to give your fucking ass a refund just to preserve my eBay ratings. If you want shiny boots, go get some Borns or Clarks. DO NOT buy anything that's available on Free People's website. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!

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