Thank You for a New Experience

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I don't regularly go out for groceries at 9:00pm in Buckman expecting to get in a spectacular confrontation with a driver that ends in me u-locking their car, but you, ma'am, made that possible the other night.

And I want to thank you.

I was actually pretty chill last night. You, siding me for four blocks, laying on your horn, following me through intersections, and trying to run me off the road — I was actually pretty chill about all that, and ready to just ignore it.

Usually people just go away. But you? You persevered. That last little maneuver you did, where you tried to run me into another car—that was the kicker. I thought, hell, why not? I’ve always wanted to bash in someone’s tail light with my u-lock, and here’s my chance!

One of *the* most liberating experiences of my life. You know those fire extinguishers behind glass? How you always want to break it? That’s exactly what it felt like, putting my ulock into your tail light.

In your attempt to chase me down, you insisted, “I just wanna talk...!” Yeah right. All we’ve got to talk about is how you probably shouldn’t drive your car in Buckman anymore. If you don’t like cyclists, use Belmont, use Hawthorne, use Stark. Don’t drive through Buckman if you don’t. like. cyclists.

You’ll be happy to know I busted a tube hopping a curb in the post-ulocking chase. This morning, I’m walking down to the shop and grabbing a new one for $4.

How much does a new tail light cost?

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