Trick or Treaters Who Are Not Welcome

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The following are not welcome on my Halloween doorstep tonight:
1, Teenagers... actually no one over 10 years old.
2. Anyone without a costume
3. Kids who grab candy from the bowl and refuse to say thank you.
4. Anyone who tromps through my yard. Use the sidewalk!
5. Anyone who actually tries to scare me by pretending to be a serial killer. You may get shot, dick!
6. Anyone who comes to my door after 9 pm.

Get with the plan, people! I am happy to eat all that candy by myself.

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