A billion things come out today and on Tuesday to take advantage of people being forced to spend time with their families—Xmas at the multiplex is generally insanely busy and terrifyingly horrific. Have fun! To aid you in your viewing choices, even though your dumb sister-in-law is just going to make everybody see The Hobbit anyway, we've got reviews of a bunch of stuff:
DJANGO UNCHAINED (opens Tues Dec 25)—This is the best movie opening this/next week, and one of the best movies of the year, and for the love of god do not go to it with your parents. Unless your parents are into hearing Don Johnson say awful, awful, awful things.
LES MISÉRABLES (opens Tues Dec 25)—Sitting through this movie was one of the worst experiences of my entire life. You think I am exaggerating but I am not.
JACK REACHER (now playing)—Bad news: My dad, a huge Jack Reacher fan, was all set up to go to the press screening of Jack Reacher in Salt Lake City so he could review it for the Mercury! But he got sick and couldn't go see it. Which means you're stuck with me reviewing it. Sorry :(
THIS IS 40 (now playing)—I had a relationship once that was a lot like the one Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann have in this movie. It was kind of awful.
THE GUILT TRIP (now playing)—But not as awful as going on a road trip with Barbara Streisand!
A VERY WES ANDERSON CHRISTMAS (Tues Dec 25-Sun Dec 30)—Bottle Rocket! Rushmore! Tenenbaums! You could probably take your parents to these! Unless your dad is Gene Hackman, in which case watching The Royal Tenenbaums with him might be a little weird. On the upside, though: Gene Hackman's your dad! Neat!