Crystal Fighters, Alpine, Chrome Sparks

When: Fri., June 7, 9 p.m. 2013


It is possible to enjoy Crystal Fighters, the British-Spanish dance band, but a few key rules must be followed: (1) Most importantly, be among herds of the dancing, like the ones found at Holocene's monthly Fresh dance party. (2) Be in a place that is loud enough so that you can't discern the fatuously spiritual lyrics. (3) Drink enough so that you can't detect the singer's fake Spanish accent. And then you should be set! By no means should you listen to Crystal Fighters early in the morning, while reading poetry/the newspaper/celebrity gossip, or while driving in rush hour. The music is lush and bombastic, but the lyrics—and their self-serious delivery—will make you mad. They really are that bad. Take "Wave," the single from their just-released Cave Rave: "Get on the wave, universal suns/One thousand suns/With the power of one thousand universes from the mind of one." REBECCA WILSON

Price: $12

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