Columns » I, Anonymous

I, Anonymous

Fair Weather Follies


Now that the weather in this city is actually getting nice, everybody has decided to pull their bikes down from the rafters, hop on, and start riding around town. First off, get a fucking tune-up. This might prevent you from stopping in the middle of a busy bike lane/sidewalk to wonder "why the pedals won't go 'round no more." Second, this is a city of one-way busy streets. Learn where they are and which way they go instead of looking like a douche as you ride up Grand the wrong way. There has been a lot of money put into making safer streets for people to ride on. Learn where they are and use them. Third, take the time to learn some riding technique. Learn to ride in a straight line at slow speeds, and pull the damn iPod outta your head; you can't hear me cursing at you to get out of my way. And last, you mountain bike guy, the Hawthorne Bridge is not the Tour de Fucking France. The next time you sneak up behind me to pass without making a sound while I am passing a pedestrian, I WILL swerve and send you into traffic.—Anonymous


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