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I, Anonymous

The Cable Guy

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I am a cable guy. Not a furniture mover. I am not going to help you move your 200-pound TV up two flights of stairs, or move your bookcase so you can have a cable outlet there. Move it before I get there. I don't care that your house is filthy, but your house is my workplace. Would you like to work in that filth? Who am I kidding—you live in that filth. If you are ordering high-speed internet so you can watch porn faster, please don't leave the lube by the keyboard. And if the cable guy is coming over there is a better place to hide your bong than behind the TV. Believe it or not, we do try to make your appointment on time. It's the asshole before you that made me late. Don't blame me if the TV picture isn't that good, you are the one that bought the cheapest TV on the market. I have no control over the billing so please don't complain that they raised the rates yet again, because I have taken four pay cuts in the last three years. And I don't know what channel wrestling is on. I don't watch TV.—Anonymous

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