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I, Anonymous

The Karaoke Kurse

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I perform karaoke in costume and in character. If you have not seen me at your bar's karaoke night—you will. I am not the drunken douchebag hogging the mic with an eight-minute rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody." (Hey KJs: Could you take every song over five minutes OFF your song list?) I am a performer who customizes my songs. I was in your Old Town bar last night, and was cut off and reprimanded for saying "FUCK." What the Fuck!?!? Are you fucking kidding me!? Put on your big girl panties and deal with it. It's art. It's performance. It's a grown-up word in a grown-up bar. Do I look like Will Fucking Smith?! How is it okay that I can spend my money in your bar, get drunk, take home a stranger for anal coitus, but I can't say "FUCK"? (This from the same town that won't accept a black-face performer.) Fuck you, you passive, spineless, mealy-mouthed Portlanders. I will fucking say fuck when I fucking want to, so fuck you, you fucking fuck!—Anonymous

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