Justin Bieber, Carly Rae Jepsen

When: Mon., Oct. 8, 7 p.m. 2012

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Some people might be furious they couldn't score tickets to tonight's sold-out Justin Bieber/Carly Rae Jepsen concert. NOT... ME. While my extended case of "Bieber Fever" has been well documented (along with many unfair accusations of pedophilia), I am OVER "Das Biebs." Why? Because he was a talented underdog who achieved glory without any help from Ryan Seacrest—and now? He's like, super popular and 18 years old. BLECHH!! (Did you hear he recently puked onstage? He was throwing up his remaining innocence.) Now I'm obsessed with his bill-mate Carly Rae Jepson, whose number-one summer jam "Call Me Maybe" is the most awesome... wait. This just in: I don't like her anymore either. She's popular and old. Next piece of meat, please! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY

Price: 39.50-79.50

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