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MALE PRISON PEN PALS

Apparently the male prison population has caught wind of our Female Prison Pen Pals series, wherein we print pen pal requests from bored female prisoners stuck in our region's various lockups. Far be it from us to discriminate.

Lonely rock 'n' roller, temporarily incarcerated. (Nothing serious—possession charge.) Seeks scribes from ladies from Portland area and beyond. Me: 6'2", 195 pounds, blue-eyed white guy with long strawberry blond hair, 49 years young. Out soon (September 14). Financially stable. Mature. Fun. You: 36-48 years. Any race/nationality. Seeking friendship. Write: Paul Wilkins, C.R.C.I., 9111 NE Sunderland, Portland, OR 97211.

JOHNNY B GOOD?

RE: One Day at a Time [July 5], regarding the recent rash of accusations that actor John Travolta has allegedly made multiple inappropriate homosexual advances.

Did it ever occur to Ms. Romano that Travolta might just be that oft-repeated, little-respected "B" letter in the ubiquitous "LGBT(Q)" acronym? Ms. Romano harps on GOPers for bashing gay marriage, but borders on bashing herself by implying Travolta must be a closet case and not acknowledging that maybe he just likes a little bit of everything. Maybe—just maybe—Travolta and Preston actually read Dan Savage's Savage Love column and revealed their "kinks" (possible bisexuality included) within three years of getting serious and agreed to be GGG for one another per the wise man's advice.

-posted by Hotbimarriedguy

DOUCHE PATROL

RE: "Long Live the Tallboy!" [News, July 5], regarding a failed proposal to ban certain types of liquor sales in a swath of downtown.

This is good news. The booze ban was highly discriminatory and probably hurt more than it helped. Malt liquor isn't a great thing, but it obviously shows class favoritism when it is banned but "craft" brew of similar alcohol content but higher prices are allowed, and there are already so many bars in that area as it is. There are plenty of belligerent and drunken (usually wealthier) douchebags in that area on the weekends to show that the policy isn't really solving anything except trying to control who gets to be drunk on the streets based on how much money they have.

-posted by Ardennes

THE ANALS OF HISTORY

RE: "Rogues and Bones" [Feature, July 5], regarding the increasing tension between downhill skating enthusiasts, neighbors, and police.

I'd disagree with the sentiment that "Portland has always been good to skateboarders." During the '90s in downtown (specifically 1993-1998, in my experience), cops were SUPER aggressive about ticketing skaters. I personally received two $290 tickets and dozens of warnings as a young teen (13-15). Their priorities were pretty fucked at the time.

-posted by Alex

INDIANA FAIL

RE: My, What a Busy Week! [July 5], in which we accompanied our endorsement of a screening of Raiders of the Lost Ark with a still from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, also repeated on Blogtown on Monday, July 9, the night of the screening in question. If you were wondering if you could get away with that—apparently you can't.

OMG THE MOVIE THAT IS PLAYING IS RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK BUT THAT STILL IMAGE IS OBVIOUSLY FROM TEMPLE OF DOOM. I WILL NEVER READ THIS PUBLICATION AGAIN, EITHER IN PRINT OR ELECTRONICALLY, AND MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOULS.

-posted by Commenty Colin

WHOA MERCURY, WTF?—Do you think us rubes? Do you believe us to be so benighted a readership that we can't differentiate separate works of great art? Look at the man's own stunned look, tossed into My, What a Busy Week! ostensibly promoting Raiders of the Lost Ark, with his shirt clearly half Bruce Springsteened from Temple of Doom. Why not just plop in a crystal skull? Because, hey, who fucking cares—it's only Indiana Jones, right?

-Colton Hicks

OKAY, SORRY. We got burned on our own nerd trap. Commenty, you will be missed, but we'll gamble that you can't really stay away for long, and reserve our tools of bribery for Colton, who gets two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater, where he can memorize the details of a variety of films in order to later deploy them in the interest of taking satisfaction in being right.

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