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Mercury Video Picks

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fashionably ignorant

Fashion is completely stupid. For such a shallow medium, nothing could be more blown-up, revered, and expensive. But you gotta wear something, right? And why not look good while doing it? And so a multi-billion dollar global industry was born. Nevertheless, here are some movies you can watch while comfortably naked at home.

- Unzipped (1995)--A documentary about fashion-boy, Isaac Mizrahi, designing his Fall '94 collection. It's a movie that does the impossible: follow a loud-mouthed, obnoxious, egocentric, pathetic, utterly shallow gay fashion designer and be not just watchable, but actually entertaining!

- Blowup (1966)--For that small moment when the London fashion scene meant something cool to the rest of the world, this 1966 flick showed what dressing up was really about: drugs, wine, sex with models, and buying useless antiques on a whim just because you can. Somehow, a fashion photographer gets mixed up in a crime, which takes valuable time away from drugs, booze, and sex with models.

- Troop Beverly Hills (1989)--Not sure why, but every girl my age has some kind of weird fascination with this movie. This could explain why so many of them are fucked up, because Shelly Long is a horrible, horrible role model. That's like boys worshipping Tom Selleck. NoÉ that's like boys worshipping Steve Guttenberg. As sick as that is, I heard that Long, Selleck, and Guttenberg once had a three-way.

- Prêt-à-Porter (1994)--This film bombed at the box office because no one could pronounce its title. For those of you not lucky enough to posses the delicate tongue of the French, it's translated as "Totally Naked Models At The End Of The Movie." Alas, the dumb American males couldn't translate, and the flick flopped. Attempts were made to translate the title for video release, but Wal-Mart wouldn't carry "T.N.M.A.T.E.O.T.M.," so they changed it to Ready to Wear. MANU BERELLI

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