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My, What a Busy Week!

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WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 18

MUPPETS—There are those who like their naughty Santas, and their slasher Santas, but you know what everyone likes? The Muppets. It's a proven trans-generational cure for the seasonal grumps, so gather around whoever's handy this time of year for The Muppet Christmas Carol and feel good about the world again. MS
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, Wed & Thurs, 7 pm, $8

MUSIC—As the holidays keep on creeping on, you could use some rock relief. The mystic frenzy of Sun Angle is just what the doctor ordered, as Papi Fimbres, Marius Libman, and Charlie Salas Humara form a 12-limbed spirit animal of noise and motion. To keep things sweet and local, XDS and Summer Cannibals round out the stacked bill. NL
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $6-8

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 19

FILM + PAJAMA PARTY—Break out the pillows, gals! The ladies-themed film series Broad Spectrum is showing the fantastic 1974 horror flick Black Christmas (with Margot Kidder!), complete with pajama party and white elephant gift exchange. Bring a prezzie, your footie jams, and watch the sorority-sister slashing in screaming style! CF
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30 pm, $8

EAR CANDY—Once a month, the Mercury and Mississippi Studios team up to bring you a local showcase of the best bands in town—for FREE! This installment of Ear Candy pairs the dance phantasmagoria of Swahili with the luscious, synth-laden dream pop of Wishyunu for a night of the best that Portland has to offer. NL
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, FREE

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 20

SWEATER MUSIC—Time's ticking to eke out appropriate mileage of that box of garish holiday sweaters. Make it count this year. The Portland Cello Project's Winter Sweater Spectacular blends that irreplaceable Christmas camouflage with PCP's always-interesting take on winter-themed tunes. Fancy and festive, like you. DVH
w/Laura Gibson, Laura Veirs, Nancy Ives, Howe Gelb; Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 8 pm, $25-40

SHOPPING—When in doubt, give booze. (A little for them, a little for you.) The Festive Holiday Spirit Expo features samples and sales from Oregon's top distillers, all under one roof. To keep the reek of depravity off of your boozy Christmas presents, dress 'em up with a tiny reindeer ornament carved out of driftwood, or a crocheted bottle-warmer, or whatever the hippies at Saturday Market are slinging. AH
Waterfront Park, SW Naito Parkway, Fri-Sun 11 am-4:30 pm, $10 (includes token good for $5 off any purchase)

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 21

MUSIC—Sallie Ford and the Sound Outside are a blast. The Portland band puts on a sexy hootin' and hollerin' good time, filled with rambunctious rock 'n' roll and Sallie's trademark hiccupy vocals. Too bad the kids are calling it quits. These will be their last two Portland shows—so send 'em off in style by dancing your fool faces off! CF
w/the Kids (Fri), Wooden Indian Burial Ground (Sat); Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, Fri & Sat, 9 pm, $15

MUSIC—Sto'Vo'Kor is paradise for dead Klingon warriors—a Valhalla-like realm of endless battle and glory. Stovokor, on the other hand, is Portland's very own Klingon death-metal band. They dress like Klingons! They sing like Klingons! Sometimes they fight like 'em, too! Today, however, they're playing a cancer benefit—proving that even a bunch of hardened gladiators can have a soft spot. DCT
w/MDC, Here's to Your Fuck, DJ Just Dave; The Know, 2026 NE Alberta, 8 pm, $5 & up

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 22

SONGS + WORDS—A couple of our favorite Portland writers—Lisa Wells and Perfect Day Publishing's Michael Heald—have put together a cozy evening at Valentine's to share the work of their talented friends. Optimistically dubbed "Something Wonderful," the show features music from Nick Delffs and Mercury contributor Mo Troper (Your Rival) and readings from Jay Nebel, Elena Passarello, and James Yu. AH
Valentine's, 232 SW Ankeny, 8 pm, FREE

MUSIC—We're big on Portland punk outfit Divers around here, you might have noticed. The band offers up one of the city's must-see live shows, leaving audiences lathered like an overused horse with earnest, ecstatic, straight-up rock. If you're only familiar with the group via its lone (and impeccable) 7-inch, make tonight's set an early Christmas gift. DVH
w/Street Eaters, Fine Pets; The Know, 2026 NE Alberta, 8 pm, $6

MONDAY, DECEMBER 23

FILM—Know what you can rely on in this world? NOTHING. Except for the un-fucking-impeachable Coen brothers, who are more reliably awesome than your partner, your parents, and God Himself. Their latest, Inside Llewyn Davis, is finally out; if you want to see what's undoubtedly one of the best pictures of the year, well... here you go. EH
Various Theaters, see portlandmercury.com/movietimes for showtimes

BALLET—I know that usually your tastes aren't so pedestrian, but when was the last time you actually saw a performance of The Nutcracker? Those are real athletes on stage in their Sugar Plum Fairy tutus and mouse suits, and they're telling a story that's creepier and more beautiful than you probably remember. MS
Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay, 2 & 7:30 pm, through Tues Dec 24, $21.50 & up

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 24

SANTA!—If you're expecting to see presents under your tree tomorrow morning, I hope you remember three words: SANTA ISN'T PSYCHIC. You have to tell him what you want, and the best way to do that is by visiting Santa at Pioneer Courthouse Square. Check out the giant Christmas tree, and pick up some hot cocoa and chestnuts while you're there—but don't get it twisted! THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE to talk to Santa. WSH
Pioneer Courthouse Square, 701 SW 6th, 9 am–5 pm, FREE (unless you buy the photo), portlandsanta.com

FILM—Hate to tell you this, but tomorrow's going to be full of belligerent relatives, bowel-bursting stress, and soul-crushing disappointment. Luckily, tonight can still be salvaged. After years of rumors, there's finally a sequel to the beloved comedy Anchorman—and unless Baby Jesus, Santa, and Rudolph all hate you, there's a pretty excellent chance Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues is going to be a ton of fun. EH
Various Theaters, see portlandmercury.com/movietimes for showtimes

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