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My, What a Busy Week!

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WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 26

SEXY MUTHA—You've been stuck inside with your godawful family for days, so the time is nigh to throw on something slinky and dance to the sweet, panty-dropping sounds of Prince. DJs Nathan Detroit and Black Dog will show you what it sounds like when doves cry, so be prepared to shake it like you stole it. CF
Dig a Pony, 736 SE Grand, 9 pm, FREE

THE DUDE > SANTA—Congrats, you survived Christmas! Celebrate with the Dude. The Clinton Street Theater's annual screening of The Big Lebowski on 35mm is the perfect way to wind down after putting up with all the bullshit that the holidays entail—and you're encouraged to come in your pajamas. So that's a bonus. EH
Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, Wed Dec 26-Thurs Dec 27, 6:50 & 9:20 pm, $6

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 27

AND ANOTHER THING—While all your friends are out of town for the holidays and the social calendar looks bleak, And And And will welcome you in with their shared passion for Pavement-esque rock and their summertime pursuit of the fine sport of Rigsketball (it involves a van and a basketball hoop)! So chin up: You do have friends, and their name is And And And. MS
w/the We Shared Milk, Pictorials; Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy, 9 pm, FREE

WELL, WELLS—Occasional Portlander Emily Wells delivered one of the year's finest albums in Mama, a dizzying array of classical, hiphop, pop, and beyond. Outside of the studio, Wells is an arresting performer, using loops and her formidable multi-instrumentalist skills to combine beats and string-laden atmosphere that'll move your body and your mind. NL
w/Timmy Straw; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $12-14

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 28

HOMETOWN HEROES—It's another installment of great comedy showcase Funny Over Everything! One-time Portlanders Ron Funches and Matt Braunger have moved on to sunnier climes, but they're back in town for the holidays to grace us with their hilarity at tonight's show. There's a reason these two got good enough to leave Portland—don't miss 'em. AH
w/Ian Karmel, Shane Torres; Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 8 pm, $10

CIAO, 007—Part of the three-day Spaghetti Fest (featuring groovy Italian flicks of the '60s and early '70s), tonight's Euro Spy Night is a treat for fans of 007. Mission Bloody Mary (1965) and the awesomely named From the Orient with Fury (1965) both star Ken Clark as Dick Malloy, Agent 077 (!!) battling super villains and banging beautiful broads. WSH
Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 7 pm, $8, Film Times for more screenings

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 29

WELL HEELED—All you need to know are the two best names in the world: Alaska Thunderfuck and Jinkx Monsoon. Those two ladies—well known as über queens of RuPaul's Drag Race—are throwing down the dance party tonight at Rotture. Time to bust out the glitter and heels so tall they violate FAA regulations! SM
Rotture, 315 SE 3rd, 9 pm, $8

INSTITUTIONAL—Featuring members of legendary Portland band Dead Moon, Pierced Arrows are a tour de force and represent some of the bedrock that the local music scene was founded on. If you've never seen either act, don't be surprised if someone revokes your citizenship. MS
w/the Suicide Notes; Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE Cesar E. Chavez, 8 pm, $8

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 30

CINDY SHERMAN—You've seen her photos. You know they're amazing. But computer screens and art history textbooks can't really capture all the spookiness and texture of Cindy Sherman's elaborate portraits. Today's the last day to see her photos in person at the Portland Art Museum—get down there! SM
Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park, noon-5 pm, $15

WIND IT UP—The year ain't quite over yet, but it's time to Wind It Up with a super-sized bill of great local bands, including the zooted, short-attention-span sex jams of the Memories, the Woolen Men, the gnarled psych of Wooden Indian Burial Ground, and plenty more. It's all free, too, which means this Sunday night could very well be the best one of 2012. NL
w/Charts, Regular Music, & more; Rontoms, 600 E Burnside, 6 pm, FREE

MONDAY, DECEMBER 31

DIG A PARTY—Twofer! One ticket gets you into Get In!—a combo dance party at Dig a Pony and Union/Pine... with free limo rides between venues! Pony will feature ass-shaking makers Magic Mouth, Shy Girls, and more, while Union Pine will be making you sweat with DJs Cooky Parker, Jimbo, and Sex Life DJs. Get in! WSH
Dig a Pony, 736 SE Grand; Union/Pine, 525 SE Pine, 8 pm, $15, FREE limo rides!

PARDO—There are no shortage of dance parties tonight, but if you'd prefer to spend your New Year's Eve sitting down—and perhaps laughing convulsively?—then consider ringing in the year with the reliably hilarious stand-up Jimmy Pardo. Helium's also throwing in a free ticket to a future show and a dessert buffet after the late set. AH
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, 7:30 & 10 pm, $25-52

TUESDAY, JANUARY 1

GRINDHOUSE—Kick off 2013 right—by heading back to the '70s. The Hollywood's being tight-lipped about what three movies they're showing at their New Year's Day Grindhouse Secret Movie Marathon, but one's about "giant monsters battling," another is "a gritty '70s crime film," and the third is "an extremely rare kung fu movie." Plus: 35mm grindhouse trailers before each movie! EH
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, $10 for all three or $7 for final film, movies start at 3, 5, & 7 pm

WE'LL WHISPER—So you emptied your brains into several glasses of dark liquor last night, and now you're facedown, head throbbing, on your bed. But good news! The only place you're going today is your futon! Change the bong water, grab a cheese steak, and settle in front of a screen. You can always clean the puke out of your bathtub tomorrow! DCT
The hole you call "home," somewhere embarrassing, all day, FREE

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