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Self-Hell

Do I Have Work-Related Stress?

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You can't sleep. You're angry. You yell at puppies and small children. It was not that long ago you used to spend all day mellow and stoned on the porch of that old punk rock house you shared with 15 of your college buddies. Now you are cantankerous and fuming. What happened? Where did you go so wrong? When did you get to be such an asshole? Perhaps it's your high-powered office job! Think you are slowly dying from internal rage? Take this easy true/false quiz and find out! Good luck!

T F I've had a headache for 32 days.

T F I fantasize about being a mail carrier.

T F I have ground my teeth down to little nubs.

T F My coworkers call me "Big Meanie."

T F I take smoke breaks even though I don't smoke.

T F I cry during meetings.

T F I drink 8-14 cups of coffee per day.

T F The one time I went jogging I ran 47 miles.

T F I work in a cubicle.

T F I work in an anthrax lab.

T F I think I'm allergic to printer toner.

T F I enjoy Dilbert.

T F I keep Advil at my desk.

T F I keep Vicodin at my desk.

T F My job involves math.

T F I stopped answering my email in April 2001.

T F I have a pen pal relationship with a man in jail who's in for workplace rampage.

T F Yesterday, my left eye filled with blood.

Did you answer "true" to ten or more of the above? You may have work-related stress. People with work-related stress often get along well with masseuses, acupuncturists, and yoga teachers. Some people with work-related stress find happiness in other areas of employment; others end up addicted to Valium. Statistics show a correlation between work-related stress and alcohol-related car accidents.

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