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This Week on TV

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THURSDAY, MAY 17

8:00 ABC UGLY BETTY

Season finale! It's "bumpin' uglies" when Betty and Henry finally get it on!

10:00 NBC E.R.

Season finale! Kovac postpones his honeymoon to go to Croatia. His priorities are sorely misplaced.

FRIDAY, MAY 18

10:00 NBC LAW & ORDER

Season finale! Did a senator (Harry Hamlin) kill his wife? More importantly, do I give a poop?

SATURDAY, MAY 19

8:00 ABC EXTREME BLOOPERS

A kid hits his dad in the face with a plastic baseball bat—that has nails sticking out of it. To make it "extreme."

11:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

Season finale! SNL finishes a kinda funny season with the not-so-funny Zach Braff.

SUNDAY, MAY 20

8:00 FOX THE SIMPSONS

Season finale! This hour-long episode is a parody of 24 (which can't help but be more exciting than the real thing).

9:00 ABC DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

Season finale! Gaby and Victor have their wedding. Think something "shocking" will happen?

MONDAY, MAY 21

9:00 NBC HEROES

Season finale! "That hero done blowed up reeeeeeal good!"

9:00 ABC THE BACHELOR

Season finale! Please announce you're gay! Please announce you're gay!

TUESDAY, MAY 22

9:00 CW VERONICA MARS

Season finale! Piz claims he had nothing to do with that porno video on the internet. His videos look far more professional.

9:00 FOX ON THE LOT

Debut! Budding filmmakers are challenged to make better movies than that hack Steven Spielberg.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 23

8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL

Season finale! If Melinda can get a neck implant, maybe I'll buy one of her CDs.

9:00 ABC LOST

Season finale! Lost is booked for two more seasons—which leads me to believe they're not getting rescued any time soon.

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